Trial Magazine

Growing up in a South Asian household in the suburbs of Dallas, I had the immense fortune of being a part of two distinct cultures: American and Indian. Like many kids from Texas, I was an avid football fan and held Sundays sacred to cheer on my favorite NFL team. I also celebrated holidays that my family observed, such as Onam and Diwali. I enjoyed accepting and appreciating the various parts of my identity from both cultures.

And yet, I have also faced a dilemma with my dual identity as an Indian-American. In certain aspects of my life here in the United States, I have been made to feel othered based on my ethnic background, cultural heritage, and religion.

For example, in eighth grade, I went to school dressed as any other kid in my class, sporting a graphic tee with jeans. I also wore a Hindu necklace. A classmate—unaware of my necklace’s religious significance—poked fun at it by insulting the shape. When I educated him about the religious significance, he doubled down and continued to hurl insensitive comments before a friend of mine intervened.

Another time, I was refereeing a youth wrestling match. When I called a pin and ended the match, the wrestler who lost approached me. Enraged, he pointed at me and said, “You Indian.” True enough, I am of Indian descent. But the manner in which he said this was pejorative. Recognizing the young age of this wrestler, I looked over to his parents, who had witnessed the episode. Unfortunately, they did not apologize or address the comment. They merely brushed it off as a disgruntled child’s tantrum.

As an adult, peers and authority figures have assumed and declared with the utmost confidence that I am an immigrant, an assumption rooted in nothing else but my immutable physical characteristics and my name. It is an assumption that also happens to be incorrect­—I was born in the greater Philadelphia area. Although I’ve personally never heard the words “Go back to where you come from,” words, phrases, and actions like the episodes mentioned invoke a feeling of being othered.

I am too American to be included in Indian society but also not American enough to fit in American society.

Interestingly, when I visit family in India, I am met with a similar situation. Although I can understand my family’s native language very well, I speak with a thick American accent, which does not go unnoticed. Not unlike the wrestler who called me “Indian” pejoratively, family members and others in India call me “American” pejoratively. I am too American to be included in Indian society but also not American enough to fit in American society. It seems that I never could fit in any one place.

While universal acceptance of one another is an elusive goal that I truly believe we can achieve one day, we still need to make significant strides. Microaggressions are ever-present, including within the legal field. My proposal is a simple one: Treat others with respect, and it will go a long way.

People are generally more than happy to talk about their experiences and background if others express curiosity about another’s cultural heritage or background with genuine interest and, most importantly, respect. We might find that we have much more in common than we think. And at a minimum, we can recognize and appreciate the uniqueness of each of our individual experiences and backgrounds.

Akshay Soman is an associate attorney at Jaszczuk P.C. in Chicago and can be reached at asoman@jaszczuk.com.